Mourners Complain About Poorly Drawn Chalk Outline

Mourners Complain About Poorly Drawn Chalk Outline

COMPTON, CA In an unfortunate turn of events Monday, Billy “Boom Boom” Jefferson was gunned down in front of his home in what police are calling another gang related tragedy.

To the family of the youth, the real tragedy is the enormous size of the chalk outline left in front of their house.

“It’s huge!” remarked Grandmother Jefferson who says she knew Boom Boom was much skinnier than that.  “They had to have added at least twenty pounds.”

Many relatives refuse to believe the chalk outline to be Billy’s, claiming mistaken outline identity.

“I bet William’s chalk outline is half a mile away. That’s just something the government would do!” claimed Carl Jefferson, Billy’s uncle.  Some neighbors speculate on whether or not the outline is perhaps an urban Sasquatch of some kind.

Chalk outline artist, Samuel Gropper, claims otherwise.  He says that the outline on Rose Avenue is in fact Billy Jefferson’s.  “I try to get as close to the body as I can when I make the outline.  I can’t help it if it doesn’t always look like the person.  It’s not a photograph.”

Gropper did admit, however, to failing art class in high school, claiming “It’s different in art class.  They ask you to draw flowers or sheep.  Here I just have to outline.”

Gropper’s high school art teacher disagrees, however.  When questioned, Craig Wishay, who is still teaching art at Cloverfield High in Los Angeles, commented, “Yeah, I remember Gropper.  He couldn’t draw a stick figure to save his life.  And he’s trying to do outlines now?  Good Luck!”

According to sources within local police departments, the Jefferson’s aren’t the first to complain about these outlining tragedies.  Sixteen different complaints have been filed against Gropper over the past year for misshapen forms, adding too much weight, and getting the gender wrong.

After the constant outcries, an official apology is set to be released from the Los Angeles Police Department tomorrow, adding that Gropper would now be taking photographs only.  The Jeffersons say they may still pursue legal action.

Chalk Outline

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *