FALL RIVER, MA – Accountant Stuart Krumple was fatally beaten Tuesday evening outside his office building in what police are calling, “an extreme dislike crime.” Robert J. Mathisson, Krumple’s former college roommate, is the lead suspect after being spotted by several witnesses, video cameras, and also admitting he beat Krumple to death with his own hands. Given that Krumple and Matthisson were the same age, race, sex, sexual orientation, and neither had any strong religious affiliations; police are denying that hate was involved.
“We’re a bit stumped on this one. We know that the murderer obviously disliked Stuart, but we also know that the lead suspect had no perceived social group or affiliation that would spark such rage, ruling out the possibility of hate.”
During the police interrogation, Mathisson cried out, “I hated him! He stole the love of my life and they did it in my own bed! He deserved it!” Mathisson’s attorney’s say they will be seeking an insanity plea.